Today’s Articles May 15, 2012

Written by FatherDave on May 15th, 2012
  • Moving interstate and Child Custody
    Your immediate thought after a relationship breakdown might be to move as far away from your former spouse as possible – getting out of Texas and moving interstate – but this can cause all sort of problems if there is a son or daughter involved: emotional, social, and also legal problems!

    Remember that the Texas Family Court considers the interest of the children to be the main determining factor when deciding on custody, and a parent who moves away from the scene after a marital seperation is rarely regarded as acting in the best interests of the little ones.

    Maintaining some degree of constancy for your child through the upheaval of family breakdown is important, and you need to recognise that your child’s whole conception of ‘home’ is one that was developed from within that environment you established when you and your former partner were still a couple.

    hence you should avoid displacing your children from the family dwelling place if at all possible, especially in the early months after separation.

    Staying at your residence may be painful, particularly if you have friends or neighbors whose very presence reminds you of the pain of your relationship breakdown, and you may yearn for the support of your family, who may live a long way away. Yet this is the home of your children home. And the ‘home’ is more than four walls and a bed. It also consists of friends, sporting clubs, and your child’s accustomed recreational hangouts, all of which your child may depend on now more than ever!

    If you are the parent you has been forced to vacate the family home, this makes the question of residency no less important, and you should consider very carefully about how to maintain a harmonious environment for your little ones when you choose where to live.

    From a practical standpoint, living closer to your spouse also means that a shared custody option is more realistic.

    By moving close to your child’s friends, this also allows play-dates to go on in the familiar way, babysitting case can be more easily overseen, as can the logistics of collecting forgotten toys from your child’s other home.

    If you look to the long-term, you’ll realise that living near by means that you can better support the other parent with school pick-up’s where one of you is held up, and in a variety of other practical situations. This all means more “normal” time spent with your child that improves the situation of both parents and the children.

    And remember that these issues are not only personal family matters. They are also legal matters, and can play a major role in determining custody cases. The family court in Texas awards custody by defining what is in the best interests of the little ones, and it is hardly ever going to be in the best interest of the child if one of the parents moves away interstate, most especially if they are planning on taking their little ones with them.

    For more information on Custody laws in different states:

    http://www.texaschild-custody.com

  • Shared Custody Arrangements
    The court always favors custody decisions that are in the “best interests of the child” and as such can specify the rights and duties of parents where shared custody (technically referred to as ‘joint conservatorship’) has been granted.

    Shared Custody is a delicate balance to achieve, but if you want to avoid interference from the courts and make your custody arrangement work for the best interests of your son or daughter, plenty of planning will be necessary to determine how to make the transition between the two homes as smooth as is achievable.

    An example of a good procedure in a joint conservatorship is to set up a standardized system of house rules in both family homes. Often parents are tempted to immediately change rules that were a source of irritation during the marriage or that remind them of their ex. Such inbalances though can be disruptive for the child, and even push them to adjust their behaviour between homes.

    As a result, children can become very perceptive at pleasing or even manipulating circumstances between the homes for their own gain in situations where parents are still emotionally susceptible. This is not because children are in essence naughty but is simply a survival strategy. A child requires consistency of rules and schedules between homes, for both peace-of-mind and for their healthy emotional and physical development.

    Creating this consistency may require recurring phone calls and meetings between parents to discuss the needs of the child and the working out of a schedule together, so that there are clear expectations and little room for emotional tricks. Ensure, as far as is possible, that both homes are in agreement on rules regarding bedtimes, tv viewing, internet use and going out with friends.

    As your child grows, these rules will, of course, need to be reviewed together and alterations implemented co-operatively. In truth, parents who enlist a joint custody arrangement because they are openly looking to the best interests of the child need to put in the effort necessary to make it work. They also need to be happy to change the agreement should the needs of the child change.

    When a child decides that he or she would now like to spend further time in the home of one particular parent, there is regularly an impossible guilt that they feel over choosing one parent above the other. Parents need to be proactive in freeing their little one from this guilt by making it obvious that the arrangements have been set in place to serve their best interests and not yours, and that you are therefore always open to modify them.

    Research still suggests that most children are more settled in one permanent residence. Parents often see joint custody as an agreement that satisfies their ‘rights’, but the risk is that the child’s needs will be lost sight of in the process. Shared Custody can work, and it can work wonderfully, but, as in any custody agreement, a willingness to be amenable and to put the child first are the vital keys to success.

    For more information on Making shared custody work:

    http://www.texaschild-custody.com/surviving-your-custody-battle.php

  • Methods in which the Court system settles Child Custody
    A child custody proceeding is any case involving child protection, adoption, guardianship, termination of parental rights or voluntary placement of your child. The support order will be based on the child’s needs, obligor’s power to pay, custody arrangements and the child support guidelines.

    The Criminal Code makes it an offence to abduct a child to spite a custody order. A custody order sets both the custody and parenting time arrangement for the children. Your child custody order is also confidential. 
    When an unwed mother has a child, the mother has legal custody of that child until a court determines otherwise.

    During divorce, marriage, or annulment proceedings, the issue of child custody often becomes a matter for the court to uncover.  The Court must take into consideration the following factors in every child custody decision under the law regarding the best interest of the child. The court reserves the power to amend the custody arrangements until the child turns 18 or is emancipated.

    You may contest custody, child support, and alimony and property division by appearing in court and filing appropriate legal papers.  At the hearing, the court shall hear evidence to clarify whether the child custody and support determination should be modified.  The fact that one parent has been the child’s primary guardian is often considered but is not enough to guarantee a custody award.

    It is not that unusual for middle income parents to spend $60,000 on a divorce and child custody conflict. Traditionally, divorce in the United States results in one parent being awarded primary custody and decision making for a child.

    Each parent shares the rights and responsibility for the care, custody, companionship, and support of their offspring.  Some states, for example Arizona, have fathers rights groups solely dedicated to helping fathers obtain custody of their children (arizonafathersrights.com for example).  

    Custody means that a parent has legal custodial rights and responsibilities toward the child.   Joint child custody means that both parents have the lawful custodial rights and responsibilities toward a child.  Joint custody permits both parents to have a say in the child’s upbringing.

    There is no evidence to support that a presumption of joint custody is in the the best possible arrangement interests of children.

    A study found that only when parents were still actively fighting did joint custody exacerbate children’s feelings of being torn between parents. However, when both parents favor joint custody, it can be a good solution for the children. Some parents have chosen a joint-custody arrangement in which the child spends an approximately equal amount of time with both parents. Some states award joint custody in which the judge simply divides the child’s time between the parents.

    Joint custody does not mean simply alternating where the child lives from time to time.  In fact, there may be legal joint custody, but the child may live with only one parent. Legal child custody includes the right to make decisions about the child’s education, religion, health care, and other important concerns. A child may be placed in foster care while a custody case is pending.  Legal custody means the right to determine the child’s upbringing, including education, health care, and religious training.

    Physical custody and residence means the routine daily care and control and where the child lives.  Physical child custody is awarded to one parent with whom the child will live most of the time.  In most cases, both parents continue to share lawful child custody but one parent gains physical child custody.  There is also a presumption that it is in the child’s best interest to be in the custody of a parent over a non-parent.

    Visitation rights allow the non-custodial parent (the person without child custody) time to spend with their child.  A common arrangement is that one parent gets custody of the child and the other parent is given visitation rights.

    A child custody evaluation is a report written by a neutral professional about you, the other parent, and your children.  It is usually not necessary that formal psychological tests be administered to each parent in the context of a child-custody evaluation.  The primary purpose and focus of the custody and/or visitation evaluation is to determine what is in the best interests of the child.

    Comprehensive child custody evaluations generally require an evaluation of all parents/guardians and children, as well as observations of interactions between them.  The children are also evaluated in a custody/visitation evaluation.

    Because of the complexity of child custody matters and the importance of the outcome, it may be advisable to contact an attorney. The attorney should know several child custody evaluators or guardian ad items that they have worked with successfully. If you proceed with a child custody action without an attorney, you are acting as your own attorney.

    In a child custody fight, there are rarely winners, frequently everyone is a loser, and the biggest losers are often the children.

    For more advice on Child Custody Law, visit us at http://www.custodyrights.org/child-custody-issues—7-tips.php

 

Today’s Articles May 8, 2012

Written by FatherDave on May 8th, 2012
  • Laws governing Child Custody in Texas
    When preparing for a custody dispute in Texas, mom and dad need to be thinking basically about what is in the best interests of the child, for this is what the judge will be focusing on.

    Mom and dad do have rights under Texas law, but it is the needs and rights of the little ones that are of key importance in custody suits, and these will be the crucial factors upon which the court will attempt to base the decision.

    As evidenced in section 153.002 of the Texas Family Code, usually, parents are considered to be equal in their entitlement to parent their children, so the rights of parents is not likely to be a determining factor. It is the best interests of the progeny that are important, and the aim of the law code in Texas (as seen in Section 153.00) is to:

    (1) Guarantee that children will have repeated and continuing contact with parents who have shown the ability to act in the best interest of the little ones;

    (2) Supply a safe, stable, and nurturing home environment for the children; and

    (3) Encourage mum and dad to share in the rights and duties of raising their child after the parents have put their relationship on hold or dissolved their partnership.

    If you are a mother or father who is organizing yourself for (or even contemplating) a custody suit, you would do well to bear this in mind at all times. You will not be able to bring together a solid case for custody of your little ones unless you can show the court how you having custody will be in their best interests.

    Giving foremost consideration to your child will also play a resolving role in many other major areas of your life, at least until custody has been verified.

    These areas include:

    (1) Where you live. While it might be tempting to move as far away from your former spouse as possible, this is seldom going to be in the best interests of the children.

    (2) How you deal with your own strain. While you might feel that you are required the presence of your child to help you get through the ordeal of the marital breakdown, don’t forget that your children are simply not mature enough to deal with the range of emotions experienced by their parents, and that dumping your personal struggles on them is not simply unhelpful, but can be a form of abuse!

    (3) Being careful how you refer your Ex. In a similar vein, both parents getting ready for custody cases before the court of Texas must be mindful of the extraordinary hurt that they can do through speaking badly of their former partner in front of the children.

    Such behaviour not only does damage to little ones and parents alike, but it may also be factored in by the family court, where a noticeable lapse in self-control may be taken as an indicator of an inability to function properly as a parent!

    For more informat on Child Custody Laws in Texas:

    http://www.texaschild-custody.com

  • Shared custody – working together
    The court always favors custody rulings that are in the “best interests of the child” and as such can spell out the rights and duties of parents where shared custody (technically referred to as ‘joint conservatorship’) has been granted.

    Shared Custody is a delicate balance to achieve, but if you want to avoid interference from the courts and make your custody agreement work for the best interests of your little one, plenty of consideration will be necessary to determine how to make the changeover between the two homes as smooth as is feasible.

    An example of a good practice in a joint conservatorship is to set up a consistent system of house rules in both places of residence. Often parents are tempted to instantly change rules that were a source of disappointment during the marriage or that remind them of their former partner. Such inbalances though can be troublesome for the child, and even push them to alter their behaviour between homes.

    As a result, children can become very good at pleasing or even manipulating situations between the homes for their own gain in situations where parents are still emotionally susceptible. This is not because children are in essence wicked but is simply a survival strategy. A child requires consistency of rules and schedules between homes, for both peace-of-mind and for their healthy emotional and physical development.

    Creating this consistency may require regular phone calls and meetings between parents to discuss the needs of the child and the working out of a plan together, so that there are explicit expectations and little room for emotional game playing. Make sure, as far as is possible, that both homes are in agreement on rules regarding bedtimes, tv viewing, internet use and going out with friends.

    As your child grows, these rules will, of course, need to be reviewed together and alterations implemented co-operatively. In truth, parents who enlist a joint custody arrangement because they are truly looking to the best interests of the child need to put in the energy necessary to make it work. They also need to be willing to change the arrangement should the needs of the child change.

    When a child chooses that he or she would now like to spend additional time in the home of one particular parent, there is frequently an impossible guilt that they feel over choosing one parent above the other. Parents need to be proactive in freeing their young person from this guilt by making it obvious that the arrangements have been created to serve their best interests and not the needs of the parents, and that you are therefore always open to adapt them.

    Study in this area still suggests that most children are more settled in one household. Parents often see joint custody as an agreement that satisfies their ‘rights’, but the risk is that the child’s needs will be overlooked in the process. Shared Custody can work, and it can work splendidly, but, as in any custody agreement, a willingness to be flexible and to put the child first are the crucial elements to success.

    For more information on Managing the transition between homes in shared custody:

    http://www.custodyrights.org

  • Protecting your child from the child custody fallout
    When mother and father decide that they can no longer reside together, this does not of course mean that either of them loves their children any less. In fact, relationship breakdown tends to strengthen the love parents have for their child, and it brings out the protective instincts in both parents.

    For this reason though, the children can also become convenient weapons, used by one partner to loss the other. The tragedy, of course, is that this tends to destruction the children even more than the parents!

    If your foremost concern is really for the well-being of your children, you must shield yourself from day one of your separation or divorce, to avoid criticizing or making derogatory statements about your ex in front of your little one.

    Niggling away at your estranged partner through little payback statements that are difficult to challenge becomes painfully apparent to your child after a while, and such criticisms only serve to extend the battle with your former spouse.

    Be the adult in the situation, so that your daughter or son, and only your daughter or son, gets to be the daughter or son.

    Countless times, damaged parents give in to the temptation to have a shot at their estranged spouse by returning kids a little later than arranged, thus making a point of rights, or they consciously change arrangements at the last second, just to stay on top in the pay-back stakes.

    Once you have divorced, you need to let go of the desire to hurt your estranged partner for the pain you have experienced together. If something seems unjust, discuss this with your former partner and don’t let it build up, and be sure to leave out the, “this is so typical of you” tone, especially when within earshot of the children.

    When your children go back to the other parent, they should not have to put up with the burden of hearing about how the other resents their behavior, potentially destroying what should have been a beneficial time with the other parent.

    Remember that while you might dislike having to be involved with your ex for the rest of your child’s life, you are compelled to fulfill the responsibilities that have been born of that time together. Your son or daughter should not have to pay the price for that.

    Keep in mind that a psycho-emotional level, you are both a fundamental part of your child’s character. You dismantle that identity when you put down your former spouse, as you not only create conflicting loyalties within your children, but also unconsciously destroy the view they have of themselves, which in younger years is inextricably linked to their understanding of their parents.

    It will every time be in the best interests of your child to have the unconditional love of both dad and mom, and the working through of a difficult custody arrangement must be directed by the thoughtful actions of the adults involved.

    Relieving your daughter or son of the anxiety of dislocation, and helping them to hold on to their connection with both parents is commonly the best you can do for a child. Managing your anger and moving beyond your personal frustrations with your former partner can be one of the best things you can do for your son or daughter.

    For ultimately, you do want your little one to learn that sometimes relationships do come to an end and that things do get demanding, but that, in the end, they can turn out right! This is what spirit is all about and developing this in your child has always got to be in their best interests.

    For more information on Shielding your children from the custody battle:

    http://www.texaschild-custody.com/texas-family-law-and-shared-custody.php

 

Today’s Articles May 1, 2012

Written by FatherDave on May 1st, 2012
  • Custody laws in different states
    Your immediate thought after a marriage breakdown might be to move as far away from your former spouse as possible – getting out of Texas and moving interstate – but this can cause all sort of problems if there is a little one involved: emotional, social, and also legal problems!

    Do not forget that the Texas Family Court considers the interest of the children to be the key determining factor when deciding on custody, and a parent who moves away from the scene after a divorce is rarely regarded as acting in the best interests of the kids.

    Maintaining some degree of constancy for your little ones through the confusion of family breakdown is crucial, and you need to accept that your child’s whole conception of ‘home’ is one that was developed from within that environment you constructed when you and your former partner were still together.

    consequently you should avoid relocating your children from the family dwelling place if at all possible, particularly in the early months after separation.

    Continuing at your residence may be arduous, especially if you have friends or neighbors whose very presence reminds you of the pain of your relationship breakdown, and you may require the support of your home, who may live a long way away. Yet this is the home of your little ones home. And the ‘home’ is more than four walls and a bed. It encompasses friends, sporting clubs, and your child’s accustomed recreational hangouts, all of which your child may require now more than ever!

    If you are the parent you has been forced to move away from the family home, this makes the question of your address no less important, and you should weigh up very carefully about how to maintain a consistent environment for your children when you choose where to live.

    From a practical perspective, living closer to your spouse also means that a shared custody agreement is more viable.

    By moving close to your child’s friends, this also allows play-dates to resume in the familiar way, babysitting matters can be more easily administered, as can the logistics of collecting forgotten toys from your child’s other home.

    If you look to the long-term, you’ll realise that living near by means that you can better assist the other parent with school pick-up’s where one of you is held up, and in a variety of other practical matters. This all means more “routine” time spent with your child that improves the position of both parents and the children.

    And keep in mind that these issues are not solely personal family matters. They are also legal problems, and can play a basic role in decisive custody cases. The family court in Texas awards custody by determining what is in the best interests of the child, and it is rarely going to be in the best interest of the little ones if one of the parents relocates interstate, above all if they are planning on taking their child with them.

    For more information on Moving interstate and Child Custody:

    http://www.texaschild-custody.com/my-custody-rights-if-i-leave-texas.php?maxi

  • Handling Child Custody Disputes in Dallas
    When organizing yourself for a custody case in Texas, parents need to be thinking basically about what is in the best interests of the child, for this is what the law will be focusing on.

    Guardians or parents do have entitlements under Texas law, but it is the needs and rights of the child that are of supreme importance in custody suits, and these will be the crucial factors upon which the court will attempt to base the decision.

    As can be seen in section 153.002 of the Texas Family Code, typically, parents are considered to be equal in their right to parent their little ones, so the rights of parents is not likely to be considered. It is the best interests of the little ones that are important, and the aim of the Texas law code (as seen in Section 153.00) is to:

    (1) Make certain that children will have regular and continuing contact with parents who have shown the ability to act in the best interest of the child;

    (2) Support a safe, stable, and nurturing environment for the children; and

    (3) Encourage father and mother to share in the rights and responsibilities of raising their child after the parents have put their relationship on hold or dissolved their union.

    If you are a mum or dad who is getting ready for (or even contemplating) a custody battle, you would do well to consider this at all times. You will not be able to sort out a solid case for custody of your little ones unless you can demonstrate how you having custody will be in their best interests.

    Giving primary consideration to your children will also play a defining role in many other essential areas of your life, at least until custody has been determined.

    These areas include:

    (1) Where you move to. While it might be tempting to move as far away from your estranged partner as possible, this is seldom going to be in the best interests of the little ones.

    (2) How you deal with your own personal struggles. While you might feel that you depend on the presence of your child to help you get through the distress of the marital breakdown, remember that your children are simply not able to deal with the range of emotions experienced by an adult, and that unloading your personal difficulties on them is not simply unhelpful, but can be a form of abuse!

    (3) Watching how you refer your former partner. Similarly, mum and dad preparing for custody disputes before the court of Texas must be mindful of the extraordinary harm that they can do through speaking negatively about their Ex in front of the children.

    Such behaviour not only does injury to children and parents alike, but it may also be taken into consideration by the family court, where a noticeable lapse in self-control may be taken as an indicator of an inability to parent!

    For more informat on Child Custody Laws in Texas:

    http://www.texaschild-custody.com/surviving-your-custody-battle.php

  • Methods in which the Court decides Child Custody
    A child custody proceeding is any case involving child protection, adoption, guardianship, termination of parental rights or voluntary placement of your child. The support order will be based on the child’s needs, obligor’s capacity to pay, custody arrangements and the child support guidelines.

    The Criminal Code makes it an offence to abduct a child to spite a custody order. A custody order sets both the custody and parenting time arrangement for the children. Your child custody order is also confidential. 
    When an unwed mother has a child, the mother has legal custody of that child until a court determines otherwise.

    During divorce, marriage, or annulment proceedings, the issue of child custody often becomes a matter for the court to shape.  The Court system must take into account the following factors in every child custody decision under the law regarding the best interest of the child. The court holds the power to make changes to the custody arrangements until the child turns 18 or is emancipated.

    You may contest custody, child support, and alimony and property division by appearing in court and filing appropriate legal papers.  At the hearing, the court shall see evidence to determine whether the child custody and support determination should be changed.  The fact that one parent has been the child’s primary carer is often considered but is not ample to guarantee a custody award.

    It is not that unusual for average income parents to spend $60,000 on a divorce and child custody dispute. Traditionally, divorce in the United States results in one parent being awarded primary custody and decision making for a child.

    Each parent shares the rights and responsibility for the care, custody, companionship, and support of their child.  Some states, like Arizona, have fathers rights groups solely dedicated to helping fathers obtain custody of their children (arizonafathersrights.com for example).  

    Custody means that a mom or dad has legal custodial rights and responsibilities toward the child.   Joint child custody means that both parents have the legal custodial rights and responsibilities toward a child.  Joint custody grants both parents to have a say in the child’s upbringing.

    There is no evidence to support that a presumption of joint custody is in the the best possible arrangement interests of children.

    A study found that only when parents were still actively fighting did joint custody exacerbate children’s feelings of being torn between parents. However, when both parents favor joint custody, it can be a good solution for the children. Some parents have chosen a joint-custody arrangement in which the child spends an approximately equal amount of time with both parents. Some states award joint custody in which the judge simply divides the child’s time between the parents.

    Joint custody does not mean simply alternating where the child life from time to time.  In fact, there may be lawful joint custody, but the child may live with only one parent. Legal child custody includes the right to make decisions about the child’s education, religion, health care, and other important concerns. A child may be placed in foster care while a custody case is pending.  Legal custody means the right to determine the child’s upbringing, including education, health care, and religious training.

    Physical custody and residence means the routine daily care and control and where the child lives.  Physical child custody is awarded to one parent with whom the child will live most of the time.  In most cases, both parents continue to share lawful child custody but one parent gains physical child custody.  There is also a presumption that it is in the child’s best interest to be in the custody of a parent over a non-parent.

    Visitation rights allow the non-custodial parent (the person without child custody) time to spend with their child.  A common arrangement is that one parent gets custody of the child and the other parent is given visitation rights.

    A child custody evaluation is a report written by a neutral professional about you, the other parent, and your children.  It is usually not necessary that formal psychological tests be administered to each parent in the context of a child-custody evaluation.  The primary purpose and focus of the custody and/or visitation evaluation is to determine what is in the best interests of the child.

    Comprehensive child custody evaluations generally require an evaluation of all parents/guardians and children, as well as observations of interactions between them.  The children are also evaluated in a custody/visitation evaluation.

    Because of the complexity of child custody matters and the importance of the outcome, it may be advisable to contact an attorney. The attorney should know several child custody evaluators or guardian ad items that they have worked with successfully. If you proceed with a child custody action without an attorney, you are acting as your own attorney.

    In a child custody fight, there are rarely winners, frequently everyone is a loser, and the biggest losers are often the children.

    For more advice on Child Custody Law, visit us at http://www.custodyrights.org/child-custody-laws.php

 

Today’s Articles April 24, 2012

Written by FatherDave on April 24th, 2012
  • Child Custody in Dallas
    When preparing for a custody war in Texas, mom and dad need to be thinking first and foremost about what is in the best interests of the little ones, for this is what the court will be focusing on.

    Both parents do have certain rights under Texas law, but it is the needs and rights of the little ones that are of utmost importance in custody suits, and these will be the significant factors upon which the judge will attempt to base the decision.

    As written in section 153.002 of the Texas Family Code, generally, parents are considered to be equal in their entitlement to parent their children, so the rights of parents is not likely to be taken into account. It is the best interests of the child that are important, and the aim of the Texas law code (as seen in Section 153.00) is to:

    (1) Ensure that children will have frequent and continuing contact with parents who have shown the ability to act in the best interest of the little ones;

    (2) Supply a safe, stable, and nurturing home for the child; and

    (3) Encourage parents to share in the rights and duties of raising their children after the parents have separated or dissolved their union.

    If you are a mother or father who is organizing yourself for (or even contemplating) a custody action, you would do well to keep this in mind at all times. You will not be able to sort out a solid case for custody of your little ones unless you can show how you having custody will be in their best interests.

    Giving principal consideration to your child will also play a resolving role in many other crucial areas of your life, at least until custody has been worked out.

    These areas include:

    (1) Where you continue living. While it might be tempting to move as far away from your estranged partner as possible, this is rarely going to be in the best interests of the little ones.

    (2) How you deal with your own stress. While you might feel that you need the presence of your children to help you get through the pain of the marital breakdown, don’t forget that your children are simply not mature enough to deal with the range of emotions experienced by an adult, and that ventilating your personal troubles on them is not simply unhelpful, but can be a form of abuse!

    (3) Watching how you refer your Ex. In the same way, mum and dad getting ready for custody battles before the court of Texas must be mindful of the extraordinary damage that they can do through speaking badly of their former partner in front of the children.

    Such behaviour not only does injury to child and parents alike, but it may also be factored in by the family law court, where a noticeable lapse in self-control may be taken as an indicator of an inability to fulfill the proper role of a parent!

    For more informat on Texas Child Custody Laws:

    http://www.texaschild-custody.com

  • Methods in which the legal system settles Child Custody
    A child custody proceeding is any case involving child protection, adoption, guardianship, termination of parental rights or voluntary placement of your child. The support order will be based on the child’s needs, obligor’s competence to pay, custody arrangements and the child support guidelines.

    The Criminal Code makes it an offence to abduct a child to spite a custody order. A custody order regulates both the custody and parenting time arrangement for the children. Your child custody order is also confidential. 
    When an unwed mother has a child, the mother has legal custody of that child until a court says otherwise.

    During divorce, marriage, or annulment proceedings, the issue of child custody often becomes a matter for the court to ascertain.  The Court system must weigh up the following factors in every child custody decision under the law regarding the best interest of the child. The court reserves the power to alter the custody arrangements until the child turns 18 or is emancipated.

    You may contest custody, child support, and alimony and property division by appearing in court and filing appropriate legal papers.  At the hearing, the court shall see evidence to influence whether the child custody and support determination should be changed.  The fact that one parent has been the child’s primary guardian is often considered but is not enough to guarantee a custody award.

    It is not that unusual for average income parents to spend $60,000 on a divorce and child custody conflict. Traditionally, divorce in North America results in one parent being awarded primary custody and decision making for a child.

    Each parent shares the rights and responsibility for the care, custody, companionship, and support of their progeny.  Some states, like Arizona, have fathers rights groups solely dedicated to helping fathers obtain custody of their children (arizonafathersrights.com for example).  

    Custody means that a parent has legal custodial rights and responsibilities toward the child.   Joint child custody means that both parents have the lawful custodial rights and responsibilities toward a child.  Joint custody allows both parents to have a say in the child’s upbringing.

    There is no evidence to establish that a presumption of joint custody is in the greatest interests of children.

    A study found that only when parents were still actively fighting did joint custody exacerbate children’s feelings of being torn between parents. However, when both parents favor joint custody, it can be a good solution for the children. Some parents have chosen a joint-custody arrangement in which the child spends an approximately equal amount of time with both parents. Some states award joint custody in which the judge simply divides the child’s time between the parents.

    Joint custody does not mean simply alternating where the child lives from time to time.  In fact, there may be lawful joint custody, but the child may live with only one parent. Legal child custody includes the right to make decisions about the child’s education, religion, health care, and other important concerns. A child may be placed in foster care while a custody case is pending.  Legal custody means the right to determine the child’s upbringing, including education, health care, and religious training.

    Physical custody and residence means the routine daily care and control and where the child lives.  Physical child custody is awarded to one parent with whom the child will live most of the time.  In most cases, both parents continue to share legal child custody but one parent gains physical child custody.  There is also a presumption that it is in the child’s best interest to be in the custody of a parent over a non-parent.

    Visitation rights allow the non-custodial parent (the person without child custody) time to spend with their child.  A common arrangement is that one parent gets custody of the child and the other parent is given visitation rights.

    A child custody evaluation is a report written by a neutral professional about you, the other parent, and your children.  It is usually not necessary that formal psychological tests be administered to each parent in the context of a child-custody evaluation.  The primary purpose and focus of the custody and/or visitation evaluation is to determine what is in the best interests of the child.

    Comprehensive child custody evaluations generally require an evaluation of all parents/guardians and children, as well as observations of interactions between them.  The children are also evaluated in a custody/visitation evaluation.

    Because of the complexity of child custody matters and the importance of the outcome, it may be advisable to contact an attorney. The attorney should know several child custody evaluators or guardian ad items that they have worked with successfully. If you proceed with a child custody action without an attorney, you are acting as your own attorney.

    In a child custody fight, there are rarely winners, frequently everyone is a loser, and the biggest losers are often the children.

    For more advice on Child Custody Law, visit us at http://www.custodyrights.org/child-custody-laws.php

  • Surviving your Custody Case
    Custody battles destroy people.

    Those who have been through a painful custody case know why these disputes are associated with extraordinary rates of both suicide and homicide.

    Family court judges frequently live in fear of their abodes, as unhappy parents regularly blame them for tearing their family apart. More often though, a bad custody battle leads to self-harm, especially in the case of men, who tend to be the ones who often feel unfairly victimized by the family law system.

    The best fix for this pressure, of course, is to escape going to court altogether. Try hard to reach an appropriate arrangement with your estranged partner, without bringing in court intermediaries.

    Either way though, while your number one priority needs to be coming up with a custody arrangement that is in the best interests of your children, your number two priority must be to handle the strain of the custody arrangements without passing that anxiety on to your little ones.

    Avoid allowing your son or daughter to participate in any of your emotional struggles that are connected with your separation. This is particularly damaging where a child is allowed to feel responsible for the family breakdown, or when one parent often plays the role of the “victim”, leaving the child feeling that they need to do something to remedy the situation!

    Remember that your children loves you both, and it is not their fault that your relationship did not work. They did not cause your marriage breakdown and they cannot cure it.

    You must accept the responsibility for this yourself, and if you need uphold (as we all do) you need to find it from people your own age – siblings, parents or buddies – and not from your son or daughter.

    The easiest rule is this: do not talk to your children about your child custody case. If they ask you how it is developing, assure them that both dad and mom are both doing their best to agree on an arrangement that is paramount for them (the child) and leave it there.
    If your child won’t let up on the questioning, it can be very difficult to avoid going into details, but you must try hard to avoid sharing bitterness and anger with your child, as you do not want your agony to become their heartache.

    A proficient family counsellor can be a valuable asset in these situations, for both parents and little ones. In some circumstances, it may even be possible (and very useful) for a skilled counsellor to facilitate discussion between a child and both separated parents. Do not endeavor to do this though without assistance. The dynamics of such an interchange can be very hard to control, and the consequences are just far too serious if things go wrong.

    Custody law cases are undesirable for everybody – children, parents and the community at large – and there is only ever one solid ground for entering into a custody battle in the first place: you are anxious for best interests of your children. If then you really are working towards the best interests of your son or daughter, be assured that it will never be in their best interests to involve them in the pain of the custody dispute.

    For more information on Enduring your Custody Battle:

    http://www.texaschild-custody.com

 

Today’s Articles April 17, 2012

Written by FatherDave on April 17th, 2012
  • Dallas Law and Interstate Custody Rights
    Often when a legal marriage is terminated, the earliest response of the parent vacating the family home is to move as far away from their estranged partner as possible. Aside from the affects this can have on your child’s emotional wellbeing, it can also affect the mechanics of filing a suit by raising issues of court jurisdiction.

    In Texas, your choice of where you continue living is not only a personal issue between you and your daughter or son. It is also very much a legal question. When initiating a child custody dispute, you first need to give notice to the other parent. Before submitting a child custody lawsuit in Texas you need to establish whether the suit has been filed in the correct state and court. Texas has very particular laws to determine whether a custody suit has been filed in the correct court.

    It is worth keeping in mind, however, that all states in the US are governed by the Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction Act (UCCJA). This is a ruling that determines which state can make custody outcomes. It sets out the rules that ascertain which state can hear a custody dispute and avoids confusion, where two states could make custody verdicts involving the same child! Under this law, states must try to co-operate with one another and must affirm and enforce the custody orders of other states.

    In the state of Texas, differences arise when one parent does not live in Texas, or the child and other parent have moved out of Texas. Whether they have moved to another state or another country it is handled in the same way.

    Ordinarily, the question of which state has jurisdiction is worked out by where the child (on the date of the commencement of the proceeding) is residing, regardless of whether the family members may have later moved. This includes situations where the child no longer lives in the state but the parents do.

    Things are not always this simple however. In some disputes, the court of the state where the child resides may decline to exercise their right of jurisdiction if it is determined that another state is a more appropriate environment.

    Again, this reflects the best interest of the child, because often a child and their parent has an important connection with a particular state, other than their mere physical presence, or were there is a sizable amount of relevant evidence available in a particular state – evidence regarding the child’s care, protection, training and personal marriages.

    In other instances, the parent may have already been handed the citation of the previous state and agreed to it prior to relocating interstate, allowing the original county to exercise it’s jurisdiction over them.

    Technically, jurisdiction of a child custody case can be fixed in Texas even if a party has never lived in Texas! A party can be subject to a state’s jurisdiction if they had merely engaged in sexual intercourse in that state, and the child was conceived as a result of that single exploit!

    Where one parent does carry on in another state, the court can order them to appear before the court in person. This can be with or without the little one. In cases where the parent in this state has legal custody of the child, the court can require them to appear in person with the child.

    The parent issuing the citation needs to be aware that if a non-resident-of-the-state parent is expected to be present at a child custody hearing, the court may force the other parent to cover travel and accommodation expenses. The child however need not be present.

    Once it is determined that jurisdiction is apt in Texas, when a party or the child lives out of state, then the proper county for the suit is determined by the general venue requirements, as previously set out above, concerning where most of the information concerning the case exists.

    Beyond this, where a court in Texas has already made a child custody decision, it has exclusive ongoing jurisdiction over that result unless or until it is worked through that the little ones or parent’s significant connection with that state no longer exists and that substantial evidence concerning the child’s care, protection and training now exists in another state.

    For more information on Dallas Law and Interstate Custody Cases:

    http://www.texaschild-custody.com/texas-law-and-interstate-custody-disputes.php

  • Shared custody – working together
    The family law court always favors custody resolutions that are in the “best interests of the child” and as such can dictate the rights and duties of parents where shared custody (technically referred to as ‘joint conservatorship’) has been granted.

    Shared Custody is a delicate balance to get right, but if you want to avoid involvement from the courts and make your custody arrangement work for the best interests of your son or daughter, plenty of consideration will be necessary to determine how to make the switch between the two homes as smooth as is feasible.

    An example of a good procedure in a joint conservatorship is to set up a consistent system of house rules in both homes. Often parents are tempted to instantaneously change rules that were a source of dissatisfaction during the marriage or that remind them of their ex. Such inconsistencies though can be disruptive for the child, and even push them to change their behaviour between homes.

    As a result, children can become very shrewd at pleasing or even manipulating states of affairs between the homes for their own advantage in situations where parents are still emotionally susceptible. This is not because children are essentially wicked but is simply a survival strategy. A child must have consistency of rules and schedules between homes, for both peace-of-mind and for their healthy emotional and physical development.

    Developing this consistency may require routine phone calls and meetings between parents to agree on the needs of the child and the working out of a schedule together, so that there are explicit expectations and little room for emotional game playing. Ensure, as far as is possible, that both homes are in agreement on rules regarding bedtimes, tv viewing, internet use and going out with friends.

    As your child grows, these rules will, of course, need to be revisited together and alterations implemented co-operatively. In truth, parents who enlist a joint custody arrangement because they are openly looking to the best interests of the child need to put in the stage in your life that you spent necessary to make it work. They also need to be prepared to change the deal should the needs of the child change.

    When a child resolves that he or she would now like to spend additional time in the home of one particular parent, there is frequently an impossible guilt that they feel over choosing one parent above the other. Parents need to be proactive in freeing their children from this guilt by making it obvious that the arrangements have been put in place to serve their best interests and not yours, and that you are therefore always open to vary them.

    Research still suggests that most children are more settled in one home. Parents often see joint custody as an arrangement that satisfies their ‘rights’, but the risk is that the child’s needs will be forgotten in the process. Shared Custody is workable, and it can work superbly, but, as in any custody arrangment, a willingness to be flexible and to put the child first are the vital keys to success.

    For more information on Managing the transition between homes in shared custody:

    http://www.texaschild-custody.com

  • Custody cases and what happens to Nanna and Pop
    Unfortunately the destruction wrought by the separation of a married couple is never restricted to just two adults.

    We all accept nowadays that while a couple may be struggling enormously, their kids are probably suffering most of all, and the more the parents grieve, the greater is the pressure on their offspring.

    Often ignored in this cycle of damage though are the grandparents. They too have their marriage with their grandchildren threatened by the the dissolution of a marriage, and in their case it can be both a practical difficulty and a legal impediment to maintain the relationship!

    The end of the connection between dad amd mom should not need to mean the ending of the grandparent’s bond with their grandchildren. In fact, with the occasional exception of cases where the grandparent relationship is being exploited by one of the parents for their own gain, it is always going to be in the good interest of the progeny for them to be able to continue their other significant the best relationships, like that unique relationship with the grandparents.

    In most Western Countries, it is not normally a legal option for a biological or adoptive grandparent to file for custody of their grandchild, as family law upholds that the best interest of the child are normally served by maximizing contact with their parents, providing that they have shown themselves willing and able to serve the child’s best interests.

    There are obviously exceptions to this rule, and in cases where there is testimony to suggest that the child is at risk of some form of abuse, the grandparents can step in and file a suit, suing for custody! This is not the norm of course, even in drastic situations, as regularly it is the court itself that takes the initiative in bringing in the grandparents.

    Indeed, if mom and dad fail to show themselves reliable enough to manage custody of the children, the grandparents are generally the initial persons approached by the court for custody. Otherwise, the family law court judge has to consider other members of the family as potential carers, especially where the parents of a child are dead or in jail.

    These are of course the extreme options – where grandparents are either taking custody of their grandchildren or are excluded of their lives altogether! In the great majority of cases, the grandparents simply have to go through similar difficulties to those of the non-custodial parent – doing their best to organise access times that fit in with the new family arrangements, while also giving preference to their grandchildren’s alienated parents!

    The family court can of course order that a grandparent be given reasonable possession or access to a grandchild, but they will normally leave these arrangements to be worked out privately with the parents.
    At the end of the day a grandparent is in an exclusive position to assist the grandchild through a problematic and difficult time and the parents need to understand this.

    Indeed, nan and pop should work hard during a time of family dissolution to make themselves available to their children and children’s kids, while of course remaining careful to avoid taking sides and letting their frustration get passed on to any of the little ones!

    Hopefully the time the little ones spend with grandma and grandpa will be time to rest and recover from the difficulties of their lives.

    For more information on Child Custody Rulings – the Rights of Grandparents

    http://[www.texaschild-custody.com]

 

Today’s Articles April 10, 2012

Written by FatherDave on April 10th, 2012
  • Laws governing Child Custody in Houston
    When getting ready for a custody dispute in Texas, mom and dad need to be thinking basically about what is in the best interests of the children, for this is what the judge will be focusing on.

    Mom and dad do have rights under Texas law, but it is the needs and rights of the children that are of supreme importance in custody cases, and these will be the major factors upon which the judge will attempt to base the decision.

    As evidenced in section 153.002 of the Texas Family Code, generally, parents are considered to be equal in their entitlement to parent their daughter or son, so the rights of parents is not likely to be considered. It is the best interests of the child that are important, and the aim of the Family Law Code in Texas (as seen in Section 153.00) is to:

    (1) Make certain that children will have repeated and continuing contact with parents who have shown the ability to act in the best interest of the son or daughter;

    (2) Support a safe, stable, and nurturing home environment for the little one; and

    (3) Encourage parents to share in the rights and responsibilities of raising their child after the parents have become estranged or dissolved their relationship.

    If you are a mother or father who is preparing for (or even contemplating) a custody battle, you would do well to keep this in mind at all times. You will not be able to set up a solid case for custody of your little ones unless you can demonstrate how you having custody will be in their best interests.

    Giving principal consideration to your children will also play a fundamental role in many other essential areas of your life, at least until custody has been established.

    These areas include:

    (1) Where you live. While it might be tempting to move as far away from your former partner as possible, this is seldom going to be in the best interests of the children.

    (2) How you deal with your own anxiety. While you might feel that you must be sure the presence of your child to help you get through the ordeal of the family breakdown, don’t forget that your children are simply not mature enough to deal with the range of emotions experienced by a mature adult, and that unloading your personal troubles on them is not simply unhelpful, but can be a form of abuse!

    (3) Being careful how you speak your Ex. Similarly, both parents organizing yourself for custody disputes before the court of Texas must be mindful of the extraordinary destruction that they can do through speaking negatively about their former partner in front of the children.

    Such behaviour not only does pain to little ones and parents alike, but it may also be factored in by the family law court judge, where a noticeable failure in self-control may be taken as an indicator of an inability to fulfill the proper role of mother or father!

    For more informat on Houston Child Custody Rights:

    http://www.custodyrights.org

  • Ways in which the Court system regulates Child Custody
    A child custody proceeding is any case involving child protection, adoption, guardianship, termination of parental rights or voluntary placement of your child. The support order will be based on the child’s needs, obligor’s adeptness to pay, custody arrangements and the child support guidelines.

    The Criminal Code makes it an offence to kidnap a child to spite a custody order. A custody order sets both the custody and parenting time arrangement for the children. Your child custody order is also confidential. 
    When an unmarried mother has a child, the mother has legal custody of that child until a court states otherwise.

    During divorce, marriage, or annulment proceedings, the issue of child custody often becomes a matter for the court to settle.  The Court must consider the following factors in every child custody decision under the law regarding the best interest of the child. The court retains the power to make changes to the custody arrangements until the child turns 18 or is emancipated.

    You may contest custody, child support, and alimony and property division by appearing in court and filing appropriate legal papers.  At the hearing, the court shall be presented with evidence to shape whether the child custody and support determination should be amended.  The fact that one parent has been the child’s primary caretaker is often considered but is not sufficient to guarantee a custody award.

    It is not that unusual for middle class parents to spend $60,000 on a divorce and child custody battle. Traditionally, divorce in North America results in one parent being awarded primary custody and decision making for a child.

    Each parent shares the rights and responsibility for the care, custody, companionship, and support of their progeny.  Some states, such as Arizona, have fathers rights groups specially dedicated to helping fathers obtain custody of their children (arizonafathersrights.com for example).  

    Custody means that a parent has lawful custodial rights and responsibilities toward the child.   Joint child custody means that both parents have the legal custodial rights and responsibilities toward a child.  Joint custody permits both parents to have a say in the child’s upbringing.

    There is no evidence to establish that a presumption of joint custody is in the greatest interests of children.

    A study found that only when parents were still actively fighting did joint custody exacerbate children’s feelings of being torn between parents. However, when both parents favor joint custody, it can be a good solution for the children. Some parents have chosen a joint-custody arrangement in which the child spends an approximately equal amount of time with both parents. Some states award joint custody in which the judge simply divides the child’s time between the parents.

    Joint custody does not mean simply alternating where the child lives from time to time.  In fact, there may be legal joint custody, but the child may live with only one parent. Legal child custody includes the right to make decisions about the child’s education, religion, health care, and other important concerns. A child may be placed in foster care while a custody case is pending.  Legal custody means the right to determine the child’s upbringing, including education, health care, and religious training.

    Physical custody and residence means the routine daily care and control and where the child lives.  Physical child custody is awarded to one parent with whom the child will live most of the time.  In most cases, both parents continue to share lawful child custody but one parent gains physical child custody.  There is also a presumption that it is in the child’s best interest to be in the custody of a parent over a non-parent.

    Visitation rights allow the non-custodial parent (the person without child custody) time to spend with their child.  A common arrangement is that one parent gets custody of the child and the other parent is given visitation rights.

    A child custody evaluation is a report written by a neutral professional about you, the other parent, and your children.  It is usually not necessary that formal psychological tests be administered to each parent in the context of a child-custody evaluation.  The primary purpose and focus of the custody and/or visitation evaluation is to determine what is in the best interests of the child.

    Comprehensive child custody evaluations generally require an evaluation of all parents/guardians and children, as well as observations of interactions between them.  The children are also evaluated in a custody/visitation evaluation.

    Because of the complexity of child custody matters and the importance of the outcome, it may be advisable to contact an attorney. The attorney should know several child custody evaluators or guardian ad items that they have worked with successfully. If you proceed with a child custody action without an attorney, you are acting as your own attorney.

    In a child custody fight, there are rarely winners, frequently everyone is a loser, and the biggest losers are often the children.

    For more details on Child Custody Law, visit us at http://www.custodyrights.org

  • Surviving your Custody Dispute
    Custody disputes destroy people.

    Those who have been through a painful custody battle realize why these battles are associated with extraordinary rates of both suicide and homicide.

    Family court judges often live in fear of their abodes, as dissatisfied parents frequently blame them for tearing their relationship with their children apart. More often though, a bad custody battle leads to self-harm, particularly in the case of males, who tend to be the ones who often feel discriminated against by the family family law court system.

    The best fix for this pressure, of course, is to stay away from going to court entirely. Try your hardest to reach an appropriate arrangement with your former partner, without bringing in legal intermediaries.

    Either way though, while your major priority needs to be coming up with a custody arrangement that is in the best interests of your youngster, your number two priority must be to handle the trauma of the custody arrangements without passing that stress on to your little ones.

    Avoid allowing your children to share in any of your emotional difficulties that are connected with your family breakdown. This is especially damaging where a child is allowed to feel responsible for the failed marriage, or when one parent often plays the role of the “victim”, leaving the son or daughter feeling that they need to do something to remedy the situation!

    Be mindful that your little ones loves you both, and it is not their fault that your connection did not last. They did not cause your bond breakdown and they cannot cure it.

    You must take on the responsibility for this yourself, and if you need uphold (as we all do) you need to find it from other adults – siblings, parents or buddies – and not from your child.

    The clear-cut rule is this: do not discuss with your children about your child custody case. If they ask you how it is developing, assure them that both mum and dad are both trying hard to agree on an arrangement that is best for them (the child) and leave it there.
    If your child pursues the issue, it can be very difficult to steer clear of going into details, but you must work hard to avoid sharing hurt and bitterness with your little ones, as you do not want your heartache to become their agony.

    A professional family counsellor can be a priceless asset in these circumstances, for both parents and child. In some conditions, it may even be possible (and very worthwhile) for an experienced counsellor to facilitate discussion between a child and both parents. Do not try to do this though alone. The dynamics of such an encounter can be very difficult to control, and the consequences are just far too serious if things go pear-shaped.

    Custody rights cases are lengthy for everybody – children, parents and society at large – and there is only ever one good reason for entering into a custody war in the first place: you are anxious for best interests of your son or daughter. If then you really are working towards the best interests of your children, be assured that it will never be in their best interests to enmesh them in the anguish of the custody case.

    For more information on Getting through your Custody Case:

    http://www.texaschild-custody.com/texas-family-law-and-shared-custody.php?maxi

 

Today’s Articles April 3, 2012

Written by FatherDave on April 3rd, 2012
  • Getting through your Custody Dispute
    Custody struggles kill people.

    Those who have been through a lengthy custody suit know why these disputes are associated with prohibitively high rates of both suicide and murder.

    Family court judges often live in fear of their lives, as dissatisfied parents often blame them for tearing their relationship with their children apart. More often though, a bad custody dispute leads to self-harm, particularly in the case of males, who tend to be the ones who often feel discriminated against by the family family court system.

    The best fix for this pressure, of course, is to avoid going to court entirely. Try hard to reach an appropriate arrangement with your ex husband or wife, without bringing in court intermediaries.

    Either way though, while your foremost priority needs to be agreeing on a custody arrangement that is in the best interests of your children, your number two priority must be to cope with the anxiety of the custody issues without passing that stress on to your little ones.

    Avoid allowing your child to take part in any of your emotional work that are connected with your failed relationship. This is especially damaging where a child is allowed to feel responsible for the failed marriage, or when one parent often plays the role of the “victim”, leaving the children feeling that they need to do something to cure the situation!

    Remember that your son or daughter loves you both, and it is not their fault that your connection did not work. They did not cause your bond breakdown and they cannot remedy it.

    You must assume the responsibility for this yourself, and if you need emotional support (as we all do) you need to find it from friend your own age – siblings, parents or buddies – and not from your little ones.

    The simple rule is this: do not dialogue with your son or daughter about your child custody case. If they ask you how it is developing, assure them that both mom and dad are both trying hard to agree on an arrangement that is greater for them (the child) and leave it there.
    If your child pursues the issue, it can be very difficult to steer clear of going into details, but you must do your best to avoid sharing bitterness and frustration with your children, as you do not want your anguish to become their pain.

    A qualified family counsellor can be a treasured asset in these circumstances, for both parents and child. In some situations, it may even be possible (and very useful) for a trained counsellor to facilitate discussion between a child and both divorced parents. Do not attempt this though without assistance. The dynamics of such a dialogue can be very tough to control, and the consequences are just far too serious if things go pear-shaped.

    Child custody cases are arduous for everybody – children, parents and the community at large – and there is only ever one proper rationale for entering into a custody war in the first place: you are concerned for best interests of your little ones. If then you really are looking for the best interests of your child, be assured that it will never be in their best interests to entangle them in the heartache of the custody battle.

    For more information on Enduring your Custody Case:

    http://www.custodyrights.org

  • Managing the transition between homes in shared custody
    The family law court always favors custody resolutions that are in the “best interests of the child” and as such can specify the rights and obligations of parents where shared custody (technically referred to as ‘joint conservatorship’) has been granted.

    Shared Custody is a complex balance to achieve, but if you want to avoid interference from the courts and make your custody deal work for the best interests of your child, plenty of consideration will be necessary to determine how to make the move between the two homes as smooth as possible.

    An example of a good routine in a joint conservatorship is to set up a standardized system of house rules in both family homes. Often parents are tempted to instantaneously change rules that were a source of frustration during the marriage or that remind them of their former spouse. Such incongruities though can be upsetting for the child, and even push them to amend their behaviour between homes.

    As a result, children can become very perceptive at pleasing or even manipulating circumstances between the homes for their own benefit in situations where parents are still emotionally at risk. This is not because children are fundamentally wicked but is simply a survival strategy. A child requires consistency of rules and schedules between homes, for both personal peace and for their healthy emotional and physical development.

    Preparing this consistency may require recurring phone calls and meetings between parents to determine the needs of the child and the working out of a calendar together, so that there are obvious expectations and little room for emotional manipulation. Ensure, as far as is possible, that both homes are in agreement on rules regarding bedtimes, tv viewing, internet use and going out with mates.

    As your child grows, these rules will, of course, need to be revisited together and alterations implemented co-operatively. In truth, parents who move into a joint custody arrangement because they are really looking to the best interests of the child need to put in the time necessary to make it work. They also need to be happy to change the arrangement should the needs of the child change.

    When a child comes to a decision that he or she would now like to spend further time in the home of one particular parent, there is often an impossible guilt that they feel over choosing one parent above the other. Parents need to be proactive in freeing their little ones from this guilt by making it explicit that the arrangements have been created to serve their best interests and not yours, and that you are therefore always open to modify them.

    Study in this area still suggests that most children are more settled in one household. Parents often see joint custody as an agreement that satisfies their ‘rights’, but the peril is that the child’s needs will be overlooked in the process. Shared Custody is workable, and it can work superbly, but, as in any custody contract, a willingness to be adaptable and to put the child first are the central keys to success.

    For more information on Shared custody – working together:

    http://www.custodyrights.org

  • The Law in Texas and Interstate Custody Rights
    Often when a relationship altogether is terminated, the primary response of the parent moving out of the family home is to shift as far away from their former spouse as possible. Apart from the affects this can have on your child’s emotional equilibrium, it can also affect the mechanics of filing a suit by raising matters of court jurisdiction.

    In Texas, your choice of where you live is not only a private issue between you and your children. It is also very much a legal question. When beginning a child custody dispute, you first require to give notice to the other parent. Before submitting a child custody lawsuit in Texas you need to determine whether the suit has been filed in the appropriate state and court. Texas has very detailed laws to determine whether a custody suit has been filed in the correct court.

    It is worth keeping in mind, however, that all states in the USA are governed by the Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction Act (UCCJA). This is a directive that determines which state can make custody decisions. It sets out the rules that resolve which state can hear a custody action and avoids confusion, where two states could make custody rulings involving the same child! Under this law, states must try to liaise with one another and must recognize and enforce the custody orders of other states.

    In the state of Texas, clashes arise when one parent does not live in Texas, or the child and other parent have moved out of Texas. Whether they have moved to another state or another country it is handled in the same way.

    Ordinarily, the matter of which state has jurisdiction is worked through by where the child (on the date of the commencement of the proceeding) is living, regardless of whether the family members may have subsequently moved. This includes situations where the child no longer life in the state but the parents do.

    Things are not always this straightforward however. In some hearings, the court of the state where the child resides may decline to exercise their right of jurisdiction if it is deemed that another state is a more appropriate setting.

    Again, this reflects the best interest of the son or daughter, because often a child and their parent has a significant connection with a particular state, other than their mere physical presence, or were there is a substantial amount of relevant evidence available in a particular state – evidence regarding the child’s care, protection, training and personal family relationships.

    In other cases, the parent may have already been given the citation of the previous state and agreed to it prior to shifting interstate, allowing the original county to exercise it’s jurisdiction over them.

    Technically, jurisdiction of a child custody case can be fixed in Texas even if a party has never resided in Texas! A party can be accountable to a state’s jurisdiction if they had merely engaged in sex in that state, and the child was conceived as a result of that deed!

    Where one parent does perservere in another state, the court can command them to appear before the court in person. This can be with or without the little ones. In cases where the parent in this state has legal custody of the child, the court can order them to appear in person with the child.

    The parent instigating the citation needs to be aware that if a non-resident-of-the-state parent is expected to be present at a child custody proceeding, the court may require the other parent to cover travel and accommodation expenses. The child however need not be with them.

    Once it is decided upon that jurisdiction is correct in Texas, when a party or the child resides out of state, then the proper county for the suit is determined by the general venue stipulations, as previously set out above, concerning where most of the information concerning the dispute exists.

    Beyond that, where a court in Texas has already made a child custody decision, it has sole continuing jurisdiction over that result unless or until it is worked out that the kids or parent’s significant connection with that state no longer exists and that substantial evidence concerning the child’s care, protection and training now is present in another state.

    For more information on Dallas Law and Interstate Child Custody Rights:

    http://www.texaschild-custody.com/surviving-your-custody-battle.php

 

Today’s Articles March 27, 2012

Written by FatherDave on March 27th, 2012
  • In most states, a court’s decision about child custody during a divorce used to be simple to make.
    In most states, a court’s decision about child custody during a separation used to be simple to make. The judge would give custody to the mom. The father got alternating weekend visitation. Now, custody decisions are drastically more complex. Many states have adopted a standard called “best interests of the child.” Judges are required to weigh a list of factors to determine which parent is the appropriate custodian of the children. The level of complexity in custody decisions has drastically risen and decisions are no longer clear-cut.Florida is one state that places an emphasis on the protection of children involved in a divorce. The best interests of the child are the guiding principles in Florida. Domestic relations law of the state outline a directory of factors a judge must consider in every custody decision:
    1. the child’s school and home history;
    2. the permanence of the child’s proposed home;
    3. the continuity of the child’s situation;
    4. the parent’s capability to provide the necessities of life;
    5. love, affection, and existing ties with either parent;
    6. any history of domestic violence; and
    7. the parent most likely to progress the child’s continued contact and relationship with the other parent.
    There are two factors that appear to be most important:
    1. the history of domestic violence and
    2. the parent most likely to advance the child’s continued contact and relationship with the other parent. The importance of considering domestic violence is evident. If a child is awarded to a violent parent, the safety of that child might be compromised. But most people are not conscious of and do not appreciate why factor #2 is so important: the parent most likely to further the child’s continued contact and relationship with the other parent. And because there is so little awareness of this factor, it presents both a great opportunity and great problem for parents seeking custody of their child. The “best interests of the child” standard was developed by lawyers, judges, child psychologists, and social workers. It represents a balancing of interests and is designed to benefit the child. The states that have adopted this standard believe a child should have a continuing bond with both parents, even after a divorce. And that mutual bond is best promoted by a parent that promotes visitation with the non-custodial parent. The parent that appears to promote the child’s contact with the other parent will get a strong preference in a custody decision. The parent that refuses visitation with the other parent will hurt themselves in a custody decision. Cooperation with visitation can take a lot of forms. A suggested pattern of conduct includes: avoiding discussions of adult divorce issues with the children, making reasonable arrangements for weekly visitation, openness about sharing holidays with the children, and participating in joint decision making about chief children’s issues.If you are contemplating divorce, you should educate yourself about how courts and judges make decisions. By educating yourself, you can make sure a judge will look favorably at your behavior. A divorce doesn’t have to be a guessing game. The educated spouse will always get a more favorable outcome.
  • The Law in Texas and Interstate Custody Cases
    Often when a marriage is terminated, the initial response of the parent leaving the family home is to relocate as far away from their estranged partner as possible. Apart from the affects this can have on your child’s emotional stability, it can also affect the mechanics of filing a suit by raising problems of court jurisdiction.

    In Texas, your choice of where you rent or buy is not only a private issue between you and your little ones. It is also very much a legal issue. When beginning a child custody case, you first want to give notice to the other parent. Before submitting a child custody lawsuit in Texas you need to decree whether the suit has been filed in the correct state and court. Texas has very particular laws to determine whether a custody case has been filed in the correct court.

    It is worth noting, however, that all states in the United States are governed by the Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction Act (UCCJA). This is a directive that determines which state can make custody rulings. It sets out the rules that clarify which state can hear a custody dispute and avoids confusion, where two states could make custody verdicts involving the same child! Under this law, states must try to cooperate with one another and must identify and enforce the custody orders of other states.

    In the state of Texas, disputes arise when one parent does not reside in Texas, or the child and other parent have vacated Texas. Whether they have moved to another state or another country it is dealt with in the same way.

    For the most part, the issue of which state has jurisdiction is worked through by where the child (on the date of the commencement of the proceeding) lives, regardless of whether the family members may have subsequently moved. This includes circumstances where the child no longer lives in the state but the parents do.

    Things are not always this straightforward however. In some disputes, the court of the state where the child resides may decline to exercise their right of jurisdiction if it is decided that another state is a more appropriate setting.

    Again, this reflects the best interest of the children, because often a child and their parent has a meaningful connection with a particular state, other than their mere physical presence, or were there is a significant amount of relevant evidence available in a particular state – evidence regarding the child’s care, protection, training and personal marriages.

    In other instances, the parent may have already been served the citation of the previous state and consented to it prior to relocating interstate, allowing the original county to exercise it’s jurisdiction over them.

    Technically, jurisdiction of a child custody dispute can be fixed in Texas even if a party has never set up house in Texas! A party can be accountable to a state’s jurisdiction if they had merely engaged in sex in that state, and the child was conceived as a result of that incident!

    Where one parent does set up house in another state, the court can order them to appear before the court in person. This can be with or without the youngster. When the parent in this state has existing custody of the child, the court can require them to appear in person with the child.

    The parent issuing the citation needs to be aware that if a non-resident-of-the-state parent is expected to be present at a child custody hearing, the court may require the other parent to cover travel and accommodation expenses. The child however need not be there.

    Once it is worked out that jurisdiction is suitable in Texas, when a party or the child lives out of state, then the proper county for the suit is determined by the general venue stipulations, as previously set out above, concerning where most of the information concerning the suit exists.

    Apart from this, where a court in Texas has already made a child custody decision, it has complete ongoing jurisdiction over that result unless or until it is decided upon that the kids or parent’s significant connection with that state no longer exists and that substantial evidence concerning the child’s care, protection and training now is present in another state.

    For more information on Texas Law and Interstate Child Custody Rights:

    http://www.texaschild-custody.com

  • Enduring your Custody Dispute
    Custody confrontations destroy people.

    Those who have been through a difficult custody action appreciate why these cases are associated with alarmingly high rates of both suicide and homicide.

    Family court judges often live in fear of their abodes, as discontented parents frequently blame them for tearing their family apart. More often though, a bad custody dispute leads to self-harm, especially in the case of men, who tend to be the ones who often feel unfairly victimized by the family family court system.

    The best remedy for this personal struggles, of course, is to escape going to court entirely. Try hard to reach an agreeable arrangement with your estranged partner, without bringing in court intermediaries.

    Either way though, while your number one priority needs to be determining a custody arrangement that is in the best interests of your son or daughter, your number two priority must be to handle the stress of the custody arrangements without passing that stress levels on to your son or daughter.

    Avoid allowing your children to partake in any of your emotional struggles that are connected with your failed marriage. This is particularly damaging where a child is allowed to feel responsible for the separation, or when one parent often plays the role of the “victim”, leaving the child feeling that they need to do something to fix the situation!

    Remember that your little ones loves you both, and it is not their fault that your marriage did not work. They did not cause your relationship breakdown and they cannot cure it.

    You must take the responsibility for this yourself, and if you need establish (as we all do) you need to find it from peers – siblings, parents or familiar companions – and not from your little ones.

    The clear-cut rule is this: do not discuss with your son or daughter about your child custody case. If they ask you how it is developing, assure them that both parents are both working hard to agree on an arrangement that is primary for them (the child) and leave it at that.
    If your child pushes you for more information, it can be very difficult to get out of going into details, but you must try hard to avoid sharing bitterness and anger with your child, as you do not want your agony to become their anguish.

    A practiced family counsellor can be a priceless asset in these circumstances, for both parents and children. In some conditions, it may even be possible (and very valuable) for a skilled counsellor to facilitate discussion between a child and both estranged parents. Do not attempt this though on your own. The dynamics of such a dialogue can be very problematic and difficult to control, and the consequences are just far too serious if things go pear-shaped.

    Child custody cases are undesirable for everybody – children, parents and society at large – and there is only ever one appropriate justification for entering into a custody dispute in the first place: you are anxious for best interests of your son or daughter. If then you really are looking for the best interests of your child, be assured that it will never be in their best interests to immerse them in the heartache of the custody case.

    For more information on Making it through your Custody Dispute:

    http://www.texaschild-custody.com/surviving-your-custody-battle.php

 

Today’s Articles March 20, 2012

Written by FatherDave on March 20th, 2012
  • Child Custody Laws in Dallas
    When preparing for a custody battle in Texas, mom and dad need to be thinking first and foremost about what is in the best interests of the child, for this is what the family law court will be focusing on.

    Both parents do have certain rights under Texas law, but it is the needs and rights of the youngster that are of paramount importance in custody suits, and these will be the main factors upon which the judge will attempt to base the decision.

    As stated in section 153.002 of the Texas Family Code, generally, parents are considered to be equal in their right to parent their children, so the rights of parents is not likely to be significant. It is the best interests of the children that are important, and the aim of Texas law (as seen in Section 153.00) is to:

    (1) Verify that children will have frequent and continuing contact with parents who have shown the ability to act in the best interest of the little ones;

    (2) Deliver a safe, stable, and non-violent home environment for the kids; and

    (3) Encourage mom and dad to share in the rights and responsibilities of raising their children after the parents have separated or dissolved their partnership.

    If you are a parent who is getting ready for (or even contemplating) a custody action, you would do well to think about this at all times. You will not be able to manage a solid case for custody of your child unless you can show how you having custody will be in their best interests.

    Giving principal consideration to your little ones will also play a determining role in many other major areas of your life, at least until custody has been decided.

    These areas include:

    (1) Where you perservere. While it might be tempting to move as far away from your ex as possible, this is hardly ever going to be in the best interests of the little ones.

    (2) How you deal with your own pressure. While you might feel that you must be sure the presence of your child to help you get through the ordeal of the marital breakdown, remember that your children are simply not equipped to deal with the range of emotions experienced by a mature adult, and that unloading your personal struggles on them is not simply unhelpful, but can be a form of abuse!

    (3) Considering how you refer your Ex. In a similar vein, parents organizing yourself for custody disputes before the court of Texas must be mindful of the extraordinary hurt that they can do through speaking badly of their former partner in front of the children.

    Such behaviour not only does damage to children and parents alike, but it may also be considered by the family law court judge, where a noticeable breakdown in self-control may be taken as an indicator of an inability to function properly as a parent!

    For more informat on Child Custody in Dallas:

    http://www.texaschild-custody.com

  • Protecting your child from the child custody fallout
    When mum and dad decide that they can no longer live together, this does not of course mean that either of them loves their children any less. On the contrary, marriage breakdown tends to deepen the love parents have for their little one, and it brings out the protective instincts in both dad and mom.

    On account of this though, the children can also become ready-to-hand weapons, used by one partner to harm the other. The tragedy, of course, is that this tends to damage the son or daughter even more than the parents!

    If your primary concern is really for the interests of your children, you must shield yourself from day one of your relationship breakdown, to avoid criticizing or making derogatory statements about your former partner in front of your children.

    Having a shot at your former spouse through little payback comments that are difficult to challenge becomes painfully apparent to your child after a while, and such moanings only serve to prolong the battle with your estranged spouse.

    Be the adult in the situation, so that your daughter or son, and only your daughter or son, gets to be the daughter or son.

    Countless times, angered parents submit to the temptation to have a shot at their ex by returning kids a little later than organized, thus making a point of rights, or they purposefully change arrangements at the last minute, just to stay ahead in the pay-back stakes.

    Once you have formally ended the relationship, you need to let go of the desire to take revenge on your estranged partner for the pain you have experienced together. If something seems unjust, discuss this with your estranged spouse and don’t let it build up, and be sure to get rid of the, “this is so typical of you” tone, especially when within earshot of the children.

    When your children go back to the other parent, they should not have to bear the brunt of hearing about how the other hates their behavior, potentially decimating what should have been a beneficial time with the other parent.

    Do not forget that while you might not like having to be involved with your ex for the rest of your child’s life, you are obliged to fulfill the responsibilities that have been born of that stage in your life that you spent together. Your daughter or son should not have to pay the price for that.

    Keep in mind that a psycho-emotional level, you are both a fundamental part of your child’s self image. You pull to pieces that identity when you put down your former spouse, as you not only create conflicting loyalties within your children, but also unintentionally destroy the view they have of themselves, which in younger years is inextricably linked to their understanding of their parents.

    It will always be in the best interests of your child to have the unconditional love of both parents, and the working through of a difficult custody arrangement must be directed by the careful actions of the adults involved.

    Relieving your little one of the stress of dislocation, and helping them to retain their connection with both parents is normally the best you can do for a child. handling your anger and moving beyond your personal dissatisfaction with your estranged partner can be one of the best things you can do for your son or daughter.

    For in the long run, you do want your daughter or son to learn that sometimes relationships do break down and that things do get difficult, but that, in the end, they can turn out fine! This is what resilience is all about and buiding this in your child has always got to be in their best interests.

    For more information on Shielding your children from the custody battle:

    http://www.custodyrights.org

  • Shared custody – working together
    The family court always favors custody results that are in the “best interests of the child” and as such can spell out the rights and responsibilities of parents where shared custody (technically referred to as ‘joint conservatorship’) has been granted.

    Shared Custody is a risky balance to achieve, but if you want to avoid interference from the courts and make your custody agreement work for the best interests of your son or daughter, plenty of consideration will be necessary to determine how to make the switch between the two homes as smooth as is workable.

    An example of a good procedure in a joint conservatorship is to set up a consistent system of house rules in both family homes. Often parents are tempted to immediately change rules that were a source of dissatisfaction during the marriage or that remind them of their former partner. Such inbalances though can be unsettling for the child, and even push them to adjust their behaviour between homes.

    As a result, children can become very astute at pleasing or even manipulating conditions between the homes for their own benefit in situations where parents are still emotionally vulnerable. This is not because children are fundamentally wicked but is simply a survival strategy. A child must have consistency of rules and schedules between homes, for both peace-of-mind and for their healthy emotional and physical development.

    Preparing this consistency may require frequent phone calls and meetings between parents to agree on the needs of the child and the working out of a calendar together, so that there are explicit expectations and little room for emotional manipulation. Ensure, as far as is possible, that both homes are in agreement on rules regarding bedtimes, tv viewing, internet use and going out with buddies.

    As your child grows, these rules will, of course, need to be revisited together and changes implemented co-operatively. In truth, parents who move into a joint custody arrangement because they are sincerely looking to the best interests of the child need to put in the season necessary to make it work. They also need to be prepared to change the deal should the needs of the child change.

    When a child comes to a decision that he or she would now like to spend added time in the home of one particular parent, there is often an impossible guilt that they feel over choosing one parent above the other. Parents need to be proactive in freeing their daughter or son from this guilt by making it clear that the arrangements have been set in place to serve their best interests and not your needs, and that you are therefore always open to vary them.

    Study in this area still suggests that most children are more settled in one household. Parents often see joint custody as an arrangement that satisfies their ‘rights’, but the risk is that the child’s needs will be lost sight of in the process. Shared Custody can work, and it can work superbly, but, as in any custody agreement, a willingness to be amenable and to put the child first are the central keys to success.

    For more information on Shared Custody Arrangements:

    http://www.texaschild-custody.com/surviving-your-custody-battle.php

 

Today’s Articles March 13, 2012

Written by FatherDave on March 13th, 2012
  • Shared custody – working together
    The family court always favors custody rulings that are in the “best interests of the child” and as such can dictate the rights and obligations of parents where shared custody (technically referred to as ‘joint conservatorship’) has been granted.

    Shared Custody is a delicate balance to achieve, but if you want to avoid involvement from the courts and make your custody agreement work for the best interests of your child, plenty of consideration will be necessary to determine how to make the move between the two homes as smooth as is feasible.

    An example of a good routine in a joint conservatorship is to set up a standardized system of house rules in both houses. Often parents are tempted to instantaneously change rules that were a source of dissatisfaction during the marriage or that remind them of their former spouse. Such variations though can be troublesome for the child, and even push them to adjust their behaviour between homes.

    As a result, children can become very perceptive at pleasing or even manipulating circumstances between the homes for their own profit in situations where parents are still emotionally at risk. This is not because children are essentially naughty but is simply a survival strategy. A child wants consistency of rules and schedules between homes, for both personal peace and for their healthy emotional and physical development.

    Preparing this consistency may require repeated phone calls and meetings between parents to establish the needs of the child and the working out of a schedule together, so that there are obvious expectations and little room for emotional tricks. Make sure, as far as is possible, that both homes are in agreement on rules regarding bedtimes, tv viewing, internet use and going out with friends.

    As your child grows, these rules will, of course, need to be revisited together and alterations implemented co-operatively. In truth, parents who move into a joint custody arrangement because they are genuinely looking to the best interests of the child need to put in the time necessary to make it work. They also need to be prepared to change the deal should the needs of the child change.

    When a child resolves that he or she would now like to spend extra time in the home of one particular parent, there is frequently an impossible guilt that they feel over choosing one parent above the other. Parents need to be proactive in freeing their son or daughter from this guilt by making it clear that the arrangements have been put in place to serve their best interests and not yours, and that you are therefore always open to adapt them.

    Study in this area still suggests that most children are more settled in one permanent residence. Parents often see joint custody as an agreement that satisfies their ‘rights’, but the danger is that the child’s needs will be lost sight of in the process. Shared Custody is achievable, and it can work splendidly, but, as in any custody arrangment, a willingness to be adaptable and to put the child first are the fundamental keys to success.

    For more information on Managing the transition between homes in shared custody:

    http://www.texaschild-custody.com/texas-family-law-and-shared-custody.php

  • Laws governing Child Custody in Houston
    When getting ready for a custody action in Texas, father and mother need to be thinking first and foremost about what is in the best interests of the children, for this is what the family law court judge will be focusing on.

    Both parents do have entitlements under Texas law, but it is the needs and rights of the youngster that are of principal importance in custody battles, and these will be the key factors upon which the judge will attempt to base the decision.

    As evidenced in section 153.002 of the Texas Family Code, typically, parents are considered to be equal in their entitlement to parent their young person, so the rights of parents is not likely to be significant. It is the best interests of the progeny that are important, and the aim of the Texas law code (as seen in Section 153.00) is to:

    (1) Make certain that children will have repeated and continuing contact with parents who have shown the ability to act in the best interest of the little one;

    (2) Deliver a safe, stable, and nurturing home for the youth; and

    (3) Encourage mum and dad to share in the rights and duties of raising their child after the parents have separated or dissolved their union.

    If you are a parent who is preparing for (or even considering) a custody battle, you would do well to bear this in mind at all times. You will not be able to arrange a solid case for custody of your children unless you can show the court how you having custody will be in their best interests.

    Giving prime consideration to your little ones will also play a defining role in many other main areas of your life, at least until custody has been determined.

    These areas include:

    (1) Where you choose to live. While it might be tempting to move as far away from your ex as possible, this is rarely going to be in the best interests of the child.

    (2) How you deal with your own personal struggles. While you might feel that you want the presence of your little ones to help you get through the ordeal of the separation, remember that your children are simply not equipped to deal with the range of emotions experienced by their parents, and that unloading your personal troubles on them is not simply unhelpful, but can be a form of abuse!

    (3) Watching how you refer your former partner. In a similar vein, parents organizing yourself for custody cases before the court of Texas must be mindful of the extraordinary damage that they can do through cursing their Ex in front of the children.

    Such behaviour not only does pain to children and parents alike, but it may also be factored in by the family court, where a noticeable lapse in self-control may be taken as an indicator of an inability to parent!

    For more informat on Houston Child Custody Laws:

    http://www.texaschild-custody.com/texas-child-custody-law—an-introduction.php

  • In most states, a court’s decision about child custody during a divorce used to be simple to make.
    In most states, a court’s decision about child custody during a failed relationship used to be simple to make. The judge would give custody to the mom. The father got alternating weekend visitation. Now, custody decisions are drastically more complex. Many states have adopted a standard called “best interests of the child.” Judges are required to weigh a list of factors to verify which parent is the apt custodian of the children. The level of complexity in custody decisions has drastically risen and decisions are no longer clear-cut.Florida is one state that places an emphasis on the protection of children involved in a divorce. The greater interests of the child are the guiding principles in Florida. Domestic relations law of the state outline a register of factors a judge must consider in every custody decision:
    1. the child’s school and home history;
    2. the permanence of the child’s proposed home;
    3. the continuity of the child’s situation;
    4. the parent’s skill to provide the necessities of life;
    5. love, affection, and existing ties with either parent;
    6. any history of domestic violence; and
    7. the parent most likely to uphold the child’s continued contact and relationship with the other parent.
    There are two factors that appear to be most important:
    1. the history of domestic violence and
    2. the parent most likely to promote the child’s continued contact and relationship with the other parent. The importance of considering domestic violence is recognizable. If a child is awarded to a violent parent, the safety of that child might be compromised. But most people are not mindful of and do not identify why factor #2 is so important: the parent most likely to encourage the child’s continued contact and relationship with the other parent. And because there is so little understanding of this factor, it presents both a great opportunity and great risk for parents seeking custody of their child. The “best interests of the child” standard was developed by lawyers, judges, child psychologists, and social workers. It represents a balancing of interests and is designed to benefit the child. The states that have adopted this standard believe a child should have a continuing bond with both parents, even after a divorce. And that mutual bond is best promoted by a parent that promotes visitation with the non-custodial parent. The parent that appears to promote the child’s contact with the other parent will get a strong preference in a custody decision. The parent that refuses visitation with the other parent will hurt themselves in a custody decision. Cooperation with visitation can take lots of forms. A suggested pattern of conduct includes: avoiding discussions of adult divorce issues with the children, making reasonable arrangements for weekly visitation, openness about sharing holidays with the children, and participating in joint decision making about main children’s issues.If you are contemplating divorce, you should educate yourself about how courts and judges make decisions. By educating yourself, you can make sure a judge will look favorably at your behavior. A divorce doesn’t have to be a guessing game. The educated spouse will always get a more favorable outcome.